Happy Mother’s Day
Today is Mother’s Day here in the UK. I’m not sure where else in the world is celebrating it, but, as far as I’m concerned, today is a day for honouring mothers across the globe. It got me thinking, though – there are so many women who maybe haven’t been fortunate to give birth, or maybe they’ve given birth, but lost their children. Some women have chosen not to have children and are incredibly happy. But does that mean they aren’t nurturing someone somewhere? Don’t those women deserve to be celebrated, too? I think so.
I’ve been incredibly forunate to be blessed with twin boys – almost 16 now – but my beautiful sister is yet to be blessed. However, she’s an amazing step-mum to Joshua, now 18. She’s raised him with her husband since he was 3 years old and co-parented with Josh’s mum, and I don’t think she gets nearly enough credit. Taking on someone elses children is a challenge all on its own. Parenting isn’t an exact science, nor is it something you can really read on and instantly know what you’re doing. The one thing books don’t teach you about is YOUR child. And they certainly don’t teach you about your step-son and how to raise them as the individual they are. These books are a guide, that’s it. Throw someone in the deep end, when the birth parents are still muddling their way through, then it’s a case of, ‘let’s muck in and make this shit up as we go along!’
Mhairi, my sister, didn’t once question if she could do it, she simply decided she WOULD do it. She loved Marc (and we were raised to be the kind of people who could share that love), so she knew she could and would love his son. I don’t think she ever imagined at that time that she would struggle with infertility, which she does, but I think her plans were to love this little (now grown boy) with all her heart and love the children she would have with Marc equally. It hasn’t happened for her and it breaks my heart. She has so much love to give, and although there are the typical frustrations to deal with when anyone has children (think teenage angst and being lead astray), but she adores her step-son. She’s never tried to replace Josh’s mum, she’s dealt with what life has thrown at them and got through it every single time.
She’s at university studying animal behaviour. I think. She’s the kind of person who loves animals like they’re humans. I’m with her there. As the saying goes, ‘You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals.’ Anyone or anything coming into her care, they are treated as if they’re hers. People don’t realise what a gift that is. To be able to love like that, it is a gift. She has four dogs and they’re her fur babies. They’re bloody hard work, but she hasn’t once wanted to give them up. She took the responsibility on and just loved them as they were meant to be.
Josh is pretty much grown up now. I’m sure he thinks he’s older, so he’s ready to run when he should still be learning to walk (take note, Josh), but it’s only now that Mhairi and Marc can start to let go of the reins a little and enjoy their lives together. Mhairi’s getting opportunities to travel the world with her course, and they’re now planning trips away together that they couldn’t do before. But whenever I speak to her, while she obviously talks about her excitement, she continually worries about Josh. She worries about him because she made him hers. Josh has a mum who loves him, but how lucky to be someone who has two mums to love him.
What I’d like to do at this point, is wish my sister and my mum a VERY HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! My sister and I only know how to love this way because of the love we were raised on. It wasn’t perfect, nothing is, but we have huge hearts because of that.
I’d also like to wish all mothers, and those who nurture other souls with love, a Happy Mother’s Day. This day is for us all.